Ephesians 5:3-4

³But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. ⁴Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Paul is wrapping up a list of six exhortations for his audience, people who have already experienced conversion, salvation by grace through faith in Christ by the resurrection/regeneration power of the Holy Spirit. These six commands are fruits of God’s work in us for the practical purpose of unity within the Body of Christ and the display of God’s glory throughout the world. We may come to faith in Christ with a “what’s in it for me” attitude, but we don’t stay there. We move on with the Spirit’s guidance in the Word of God to a “how can God be glorified and others edified” attitude. Specifically, knowledge of who we are in Christ (God’s beloved children) serves to motivate the self-sacrifice required to live the Christian life (see Colossians 3:12). Living out the grace of God is seen through our distinctive lives as Christians in but not of the world, as Paul declares, by (1) telling the truth (not lying), (2) self-control and reconciliation (not uncontrolled and sinful anger), (3) honest labor (not stealing), (4) edifying speech (not unwholesome talk), (5) love (not bitterness), and (6) thankful acknowledgement of God’s gracious gifts (not unrestrained sexual desires leading to immorality). We’ll focus on this last one in this section.

In v3-4, we learn that to trivialize the sexual relationship through crude joking or to idolize it through blatant sexual immorality or covetousness is wrong. Rather, we are to restore the sexual relationship to its proper function (Proverbs 5:18-19; 1 Timothy 4:1-5; Hebrews 13:4). A simple outline of these two verses might look like this: (1) Paul explicitly addresses the issue of sexual immorality, including lust or coveting (greed), in the first part of v3, saying there must not be even a hint that those things exist in the confines of the Church; (2) Paul addresses the issue of coarse talk, or filthy and vulgar language, regarding sexuality in the first part of v4, saying they should not be found in the Church either; (3) Paul tells us why these things should not exist in the Church in the last part of v3 and in the middle of v4; they are improper and out of place – “inconvenient” and “inconsistent” with godly character. Though we may want specifics, Paul will say in Ephesians 5:12 that “it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret.” (4) Finally, Paul notes at the end of v4 that thankfulness for the sacred gift of sexual relations within the context of a committed, permanent, monogamous, heterosexual, marriage relationship ought to replace anything even remotely related to sexual immorality, lust, or coveting (greed).

There should not be adultery, infidelity, or fornication in the Church. Those are physical acts of sexual immorality. But Paul also speaks of impurity, speaking of internal cleanliness, and we might relate this to today’s age of Internet pornography, chat rooms, and 900 numbers. And he mentions greed, which would be better translated as coveting (it’s the same Greek word). This includes lust and wrongful desires. All of these elements were problems for Paul’s audience, and they remain problems today. When we think of the culture of Ephesus, we might be shocked; but more likely, if the Christians of Ephesus came here today, they’d be shocked. Why? Because then, you had to go where the immorality was. Today, it comes to you; you can’t escape it. But we can try. Paul says, “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18). How do we flee temptation? Be thankful for the good that God gives.

Most likely, you’re not engaging in physical adultery. But are you coveting? Be thankful for your marriage. Are you lusting? Pray for your spouse and consider her needs; teach your daughters modesty. Are you struggling with the temptation to view Internet pornography? Think of the image as your daughter when she’s older. Now, do you want to fight it? Get an Internet filter. Don’t erase your history and show your wife everyday. Use “covenant eyes,” which e-mails your accountability partner a list of websites you viewed each day. (Sadly, new versions of Internet browsers are coming out with “privacy mode,” a.k.a. “porn mode,” which doesn’t record cookies or history…With a multi-billion dollar industry thriving off addictions, the browser companies must be getting kickbacks.)

Paul tells us how to respond positively. We make sure our conversation is appropriate. We don’t engage in crass sexual joking or anything even remotely considerable as indecent. We are to be distinct from the world, and this is a place where it should be easy to see the difference – in our language being free from obscenity, foolishness, and sexual coarseness. Calvin says, “The Greek words [morologia and eutrapelia, which appear only here in the entire Bible, are] often used by heathen writers, in a good sense, for that ready and ingenious pleasantry in which able and intelligent men may properly indulge. But as it is exceedingly difficult to be witty without becoming satirical, and as jesting itself carries in it a portion of conceit not at all in keeping with the character of a godly man, Paul very properly dissuades from this practice.” Vincent Cheung says, “Throughout this letter, Paul labors to convey the tremendous intellectual and moral differences between the Christians and the non-Christians, and here the imagery cannot be any clearer – Christians and non-Christians are intellectual and moral opposites.”

Finally, Paul tells us to replace any sexual crudeness, whether in thought, word, or deed, with grace or thanksgiving. (The Greek word for “thanksgiving” is always translated as such, but it has in mind the saying of grace, as in praying before a meal.) Paul says this gift of God is too good to be sullied by immorality and vulgarity. Rather, be thankful that sex is not out-of-bounds for the Christian. Sex is great, a gift from God, and we ought to treat it as such – but solely within the bounds God established. Thank God for marriage and the wholesome intimacy of sex therein. Next, we’ll see that Paul continues on these lifestyle transformations by the resurrection power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. He shifts the emphasis from thoughts, words, and deeds, to the motivations for those thoughts, words, and deeds.

Ephesians 4:29-32, 5:1-2

²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³²Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you... ¹Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children ²and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Continuing with our list, the fourth command is found in v29. Paul deals with corrupt speech and points to the transformation as speech that edifies and builds up the Body of Christ. It’s a DC memory verse; “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Other versions (NKJV) talk about edifying speech as a means of imparting grace. “Unwholesome talk” can refer to just about anything that is not good – gossip, slander, foul or vulgar language (obscenities), crude jokes, or even empty words (like offensive or leading sarcasm) and foolishness, especially regarding sexuality, which Paul will mention later (Ephesians 5:4). Our speech ought to be encouraging, a blessing to those who hear. And it’s hard to tame the tongue; we have dirty mouths, for the simple reason that we have dirty hearts (Luke 6:45; James 3:6-10).

In v30, we see that the Holy Spirit is a Person, rather than an impersonal spiritual force (an “it”), since He can be grieved by our poor choice of words. However, He is not a frightened little girl or a pigeon that can be shooed away. Calvin says, “As God has sealed us by His Spirit, we grieve Him when we do not follow His guidance, but pollute ourselves by wicked passions. No language can adequately express this solemn truth, that the Holy Spirit rejoices and is glad on our account, when we are obedient to Him in all things, and neither think nor speak anything, but what is pure and holy; and, on the other hand, is grieved, when we admit anything into our minds that is unworthy of our calling.” With this thought, Paul refers to Isaiah 63:10, which reveals that he is simply reiterating an Old Testament concept and not teaching anything new. And it’s another reminder of the behind-the-scenes spiritual warfare going on. Words are powerful; and Paul commands that we use them to edify others by the power of the Spirit.

Fifth, in v31-32 and Ephesians 5:1-2, Paul uses a variety of commands to move us from an internal sinful disposition to a disposition of love. Unlike Paul’s previous exhortations, which clearly addressed outward actions (lying, uncontrolled anger, stealing, and unwholesome talk) this command is regarding more of an internal attitude, a hardhearted, sinful disposition (bitterness – resentment, rage – sinful wrath, anger – settled and sullen hostility with no room for forgiveness, brawling – obnoxious clamoring, slander – speaking evil of someone behind their back, and every form of malice – abusive hatred or ill-will toward others). Paul addressed the fruits of the internal problem, the sinful disposition. And now he says get rid of that natural bent toward bitterness. Ligon Duncan says:

“He’s talking about an attitude of heart, an outlook on life, that, when we receive blessings in this life we don’t adequately acknowledge that God has given those blessings; and then, when we come to hard things in this life and trials in this life, we become bitter because we think that somehow God has shortchanged us, that He doesn’t really care about us, that He’s not good...and that bitterness then turns into words, it turns into resentment, it turns into anger towards others. It’s expressed in verbal activity, but it’s also expressed in a heart attitude that bears ill-will to others, resents others who have blessings that we don’t have, doesn’t rejoice with others when they do have blessings, thinks that God is better to other people than to ourselves. He’s talking about a fundamental attitude issue here.”

Think of the older brother in the parable of the prodigal sons. This was his deal. But we are commanded to receive God’s providence with understanding that He is good. We are commanded to be kind and tenderhearted, compassionate, forgiving others as God forgives us, and loving others as Christ loves us (John 13:34; The Lord’s Prayer). But we need more than Paul to say to us, “Stop being bitter, angry, and slanderous. Be forgiving, compassionate, and loving instead.” Paul is teaching us a whole new pattern of thinking and behavior. We need the Holy Spirit to transform us by grace so that we can be imitators of God; in order to be like Christ, a fragrant offering to God (2 Corinthians 2:15), we need to be constantly reminded of the forgiveness and love we have in Christ and then yield that to others. And Paul will discuss additional motivations for these powerful lifestyle transformations in Ephesians 5:5-21.

Ephesians 4:25-28

²⁵Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶"In your anger do not sin" [Psalm 4:4]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

Paul helps us see what transforming grace looks like. He begins with “Therefore,” and we can view the negative commands found throughout v25-31 and v3-4 of chapter 5, as well as the positive exhortations found in v25, v28-29, v32, and v1-2 of chapter 5, as commands to us from Jesus and as exhortations that can only be obeyed in this life through Jesus working in us by the gracious resurrection power of the Holy Spirit. Paul gives us six specific instructions to help us live the Christian life, which is to be distinct from the world for God’s glory and for Christian unity as the Body of Christ. His unifying, God-glorifying instructions deal with transformation from: (1) lying to truth telling, (2) uncontrolled anger to self-control, (3) stealing to useful labor, (4) harmful speech to helpful speech, (5) a sinful disposition to a loving disposition, and (6) unrestrained sexual desires to a thankful acknowledgement of God’s gracious gifts.

First, in v25, Paul says to “put off falsehood and speak truthfully.” Satan is the father of lies. Lying, which includes all forms of deceit, hypocrisy, and cunning, is pervasive in our world, and sadly, even in the Church. And it has been for quite awhile. Seeing the vision of the holy God seated on His throne with the train of His robe filling the Temple, the prophet Isaiah said, “Woe is me! I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell among a people of unclean lips” (Isaiah 6:5). We are to be distinct from the world by speaking the truth. Paul says to be sincere, truthful with our neighbors, recognizing that when we speak the truth to fellow church members (neighbors), we are literally speaking the truth to ourselves, because we are all in one body. So truth-telling, and not lying, is a fruit of God’s grace to His Church, a sign of His being at work in you to will and to act according to His good purpose (Philippians 2:13), and it is essential for maintaining and building unity within the Body of Christ.

Second, in v26-27, Paul commands us to manage anger appropriately. He alludes to Psalm 4:4, “In your anger, do not sin.” Of course, we know that anger is not sinful. Being angry is oftentimes an appropriate response to the world or to an offensive action. We can be angry not only at sin and sinful activity, but also at sinners. It is right for a woman to be angry with her husband when he has an affair. It would be wrong if she weren’t angry. But how we handle that anger is crucial. If we sin in anger, we disrupt the unity of the Body of Christ, and we fail to glorify God. Calvin says, “There are three faults by which we offend God in being angry. The first is when our anger arises from slight causes, and often from no cause whatever, or at least from private injuries or offenses. The second is when we go beyond the proper bounds, and are hurried into intemperate excesses. The third is when our anger, which ought to have been directed against ourselves or against sins, is turned against our brethren.”

Instead of clinging to anger and building contempt and malice inside, we need to seek reconciliation. Be ready to reconcile. Thus Paul says, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” And in conclusion on his discussion of anger, having seen that practical unity displays God’s power of reconciliation, Paul, in v27, says not to give the devil a foothold; Satan likes to disrupt the unity of believers. And so we see that there is spiritual warfare going on in our efforts to live the Christian life. Paul will expound on that, especially in chapter six, but for now, we need to see that anger ought to point to us to God’s glorious grace. And we ought to reflect that to the world.

Third, in v28, Paul tells the audience not to steal, but instead to work with their hands in order to share with others. John Stott says, “‘Do not steal’ was the eighth commandment of Moses’ Law. It had, and still has, a wide application...not only the stealing of other people’s money or possessions, but also to tax evasion; to employers who take advantage of their workers; and to employees who give poor service, or who work short time in relation to their employers.” Failing to be generous and frivolous uses of wealth – gambling, excessive consumer debt, negligent payment of bills – violate this command of God. When Paul says, “Steal no longer,” he’s speaking in broad terms of the heart issue of selfishness. And Paul instructs his audience not to merely stop stealing, but to replace stealing with honest working. Elsewhere, in 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, Paul says to work with your hands “so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” It’s for God’s glory and for unity.

Christians ought to be known for their honesty in labor. And beyond that, Christians ought to avoid stealing and work hard, so that they will be able to share with the needy. That motive requires a heart-transformation by the grace of God. Nobody naturally wants to share. John Stott said, “Christ must turn burglars into benefactors.” Paul was a great example of that kind of transformation. But Jesus is our best role model. We read in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” He shared His life with us, and He’ll do it for all eternity.

Ephesians 4:20-24

²⁰You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. ²¹Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

In v20-21, Paul reminds his audience of Christians that they did not learn Christ by living like pagans. Rather they learned Christ, as the subject, by Christ, as the teacher. Jesus Christ is both the content and the One who applies the content to you. And He does it in your intellect from within you! Vincent Cheung says, “God’s power rescues us from futile thinking and continual lust, not by a divine encounter or experience, but by the teaching of Christ, or Christian doctrine, applied to the mind by divine power.” This is a great objection to today’s common thought that we come to Christ by exercising our free will in our depraved nature. But, as Paul says, “You did not come to know Christ that way,” referring to living as a pagan and exercising your worldly wisdom. Paul’s tirade from v17-19 reveals what happens when man is left to his free will. Thank God that He sovereignly intervened and called us out of darkness into light!

Notice that the whole of the Christian life is inseparably connected to Jesus Christ. We learn Jesus in Jesus through Jesus by Jesus for Jesus. And there’s no room for a pagan lifestyle while united to Christ by grace through faith. Jesus is the content of the truth, the conveyor of the truth, and the context of the truth. Ligon Duncan says, “Jesus delighted to do His Father’s will, and Paul is reminding the disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ that if you’re really a disciple of Jesus Christ, if you’ve really come to know Jesus Christ, you, too, will delight to know the Father’s will and delight to do the Father’s will, because Jesus delighted to do the Father’s will. And if all of your life is connected to Jesus, then you’re going to recognize that there is a moral component to Christian teaching.”

There is a moral response to the gospel of grace, and we are reminded of it in v22. Grace teaches us to put off our old selves. They are corrupt and growing more so. That’s repentance! The first response of one who comes to genuine saving faith is repentance. There is a moral transformation that comes with being a Christian, in which we are morally different from the world around us. We don’t be good to be saved; we are saved to be good. And we see that in v23-24; after putting off the old – repentance – we are taught to “be made new in the attitude of our minds, and to put on the new self.”

This transformation is not superficial. It’s from the inside out, from our innermost being, from our eternal soul, and it works outwardly, so that thoughts, words, and deeds conform to those wrought by Christ (Romans 8:29; 12:1-2). God has renewed us. John calls it regeneration; Paul calls it resurrection. Both pictures emphasize that we can’t do them. Notice the new self. It’s created (by God) “to be like God in true righteousness and holiness,” which Calvin and even Plato see (Luke 1:75) as second-table laws relating to our man-ward relationship (righteousness) and first-table laws relating to our God-ward relationship (holiness). God does that in us! Cheung says, “To paraphrase, Paul is saying to his readers, ‘You don’t have to be like the non-Christians, because you have been taught something else. You have been taught the truth of Jesus Christ, that is, the Christian worldview. Moreover, you can live consistently with this Christian worldview because God has regenerated you and His power is at work in you. By renewing your mind with biblical teaching, you can put on the new self, form new thinking patterns and moral habits, and conform to true righteousness and holiness.’” Our transformation is not the cause of God’s love for us, but the consequence of God’s love for us. But still, what does that look like?