Philemon 17-21

¹⁷So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. ¹⁸If he has done you any wrong or owes you anything, charge it to me. ¹⁹I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back--not to mention that you owe me your very self. ²⁰I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. ²¹Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I ask.

In v17-20, Paul makes three requests. In v17, it’s, “Accept him as you would me.” Paul provides additional motive for Philemon – his very friendship. Paul is effectively saying, “If you want our friendship to remain in good standing, then you will do what I’m asking you to do regarding our mutual friend, Onesimus.” But it’s not so much a threat as a plea. In v18, the request of Paul is to “charge his debt to my account.” Paul offers to pay Onesimus’ debt. His offer is real, but clearly secondary by comparison to the right response of simply forgiving the debt. In v19, Paul adds another motive for Philemon to respond rightly as he desires. Philemon owed his own faith, his “very self,” just as Onesimus did, to Paul’s ministry. We see Paul’s third request, to “refresh my heart in Christ,” in v20. Again, that word, “heart,” refers to the very core of Paul’s being, especially emotionally. Paul calls Philemon his brother, desiring a benefit from him in the Lord. The way that Philemon could benefit Paul would be to release Onesimus. Can you imagine what Onesimus thought of Paul? Calvin says, “When Onesimus saw so distinguished an apostle of Christ plead so eagerly in his behalf, he, must undoubtedly have been much more humbled, that he might bend the heart of his master to be merciful to him.” Who am I to be loved this way – by another human? Much less by the Lord of creation!

Finally, in v21, given all these motives for action, Paul encourages Philemon by saying that he is confident he will obey. But it’s not really a command; it’s an appeal. Nevertheless, it is so strong an appeal that it might as well be a command. And Philemon is sure to do even more than Paul is asking of him. As Calvin notes, Paul’s example reveals “how affectionately we ought to aid a sinner who has given us proof of his repentance. And if it is our duty to intercede for others, in order to obtain forgiveness for those who repent, much more should we ourselves treat them with kindness and gentleness.”